Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Making Friends or Reconnecting With Old Ones

How to make, re-make or revive old friendships.

Going back to school is unnerving for so many reasons but among the most stressful is the "friendship connection". Over the long summer break lots of people lose touch with their school friends and reconnecting can be hard and confusing, especially if others in your "group" have stayed in touch. It is also really confusing, and a bit overwhelming, if you are in a situation to make new friends - be it at a new school or at your old one.

When getting back in touch with old friends listening is the key. Listen to what they did over the summer so that you know the stories almost as well as if you had been there yourself. Ask questions ("No way! That didn't really happen, did it?"), act excited to hear the news (even if it is actually really dull) and don't rock the boat with too much self pity (I wish I was there but since I wasn't I am going to pout and get quiet when you talk about it...). Your friends are sure to have missed you, just make sure they aren't too aware that you missed out on some group memories. Breaks from, school are notorious bonding sessions for friends, you need to make sure that you don't get left out in the cold.

Making new friends is a whole different story. You need to focus on listening, that much is the same, but you can't ever hope to be a part of those memories. You don't know the people well enough for them to have been aware of your absence. Instead, when you listen, find threads of common interests and use them to bond yourself to the new people. Talk about the things you have in common and stay away from the things you don't. Get to know what kind of people they are and what they do for fun and decide if you can really fit in to their "groove" before solidifying any friendships. Nothing is worse than getting in with a group only to find you don't really like them. "Friendly yet cautious" should be your motto when looking to make new connections.

If life has thrown you a friendly curve and you aren't quite sure how to handle it don't come undone. Take a deep breath and look over or "friendship building tips". These tips are guaranteed to help you navigate this crazy thing called friendship.

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